


Almost Like Breathing

by lotusk



Category: EXO (Band), Infinite (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, BFFs Kyungmyeon, Babysitting, Blow Jobs, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Kid!Joy, Kitchen Sex, Kyungsoo thinks kids are cooties, M/M, Neighbors, Pining, Side!Sesoo, Single Parent AU, Single dad Jongin, Smut, babysitter Joonmyun, kid!Baekhyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-06 22:48:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6773431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotusk/pseuds/lotusk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joonmyun's got his life all mapped out. Work first, relationships much later. That is, he thinks he's got it all figured out until single dad Jongin and his son Baekhyun move into the apartment next door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Almost Like Breathing

**Author's Note:**

> Much love and my eternal gratitude to Suhoneymod for your patience, understanding and kindness. You are a wonderful human being!
> 
> To the prompter, bless you for your wonderful prompt! I tried to work in as much of your prompt as possible and I hope you like this at least a little. 
> 
> To my friends on tlist who helped me get through this writing odyssey (and it truly was an odyssey with lots of wrong turns and long periods of sailing around aimlessly): Bunny, Ansa, Mija, Ezrae, Reeza, Ash & Gem. I love you all and I couldn’t have finished this without you ♡ 
> 
>  
> 
> (Prompt #56)

It's been a hell of a long day but of course Joonmyun’s phone chirps at the exact moment the elevator goes _ding_ on his floor. Sighing, he starts scanning his inbox for new work emails. There’s _always_ something from a stressed out colleague or frantic client that can’t possibly wait till tomorrow. He’s so preoccupied with his phone that he doesn’t even notice the tower of boxes stacked outside Apartment 27A. 

“Whoa,” he yelps in surprise, stopping just short of colliding with a wall of cardboard.

A little head pokes out from behind the boxes. It’s a boy—a round-cheeked toddler who looks like he’s around three, maybe four years old. 

“Hello,” Joonmyun waves because it seems like the right thing to do. He doesn’t know the first thing about little children or how to behave around them but a wave and a hello shouldn't be too far off the mark. 

The boy stares back at him. His eyes are curious but untrusting, and he doesn’t answer. Where are the kid’s parents? It seems like a reckless thing to do, leaving him out here. The front door might be open, but the boy is still standing in the corridor outside his apartment. Anyone could just walk past and grab him and. . .nope. He can’t leave this kid out here on his own. 

Forehead screwed up with worry, Joonmyun asks the boy where his umma is. But the boy just shakes his head—still quiet. He's about to ask him where his Appa is when a head emerges from behind the boxes, startling Joonmyun. 

“Actually, it’s just Appa. There's only Baekhyun and me.” The man’s voice is deep and rich and Joonmyun is reminded of caramel macchiato for some ridiculous reason. With the tower of boxes in his way, Joonmyun can only see the young man’s face: strong jaw, a beautiful mouth and tired looking eyes. The man is honest-to-goodness handsome but Joonmyun wishes he didn’t look quite so exhausted.

‘Appa’ steps out from behind the boxes and Joonmyun’s heart tangles over its own feet a little at how long and lean the young man’s legs are in his dark, skinny jeans, and how broad his shoulders look in the gray and maroon raglan tee. Having someone this attractive living next door is going to be a challenge. And he has a kid and maybe a wife? Or husband or girlfriend or boyfriend? 

None of this has anything to do with Joonmyun one way or the other and yet, Joonmyun has this feeling his life is about to get hella complicated. 

“This is a stupid thing to ask but are you moving in?”

The young man laughs and it transforms his face, melting away the lines of fatigue that had hugged his eyes earlier. “Yeah. Yeah, you could say that. I’m Jongin,” he offers his hand and Joonmyun takes it with a smile. Jongin’s hand is warm and his grip, firm, but Joonmyun had somehow expected that.

“Appa,” the little boy whispers as he tugs at his father’s jean-clad leg.

There’s an indulgent look on Jongin’s face as he turns, eyes falling on the toddler clinging to his right leg. “And this,” he says as he swings the boy into his arms and settles him on his hip, “is Baekhyun. Say hello to the nice ahjussi. I’m so sorry but I still don’t know your name.”

“Ah, that’s my fault for not providing it. I'm Joonmyun and I live next door. 27B."

"Hi, Joonmyun," Jongin gives him a warm smile. "Baek, say hello to the ahjussi who lives next door."

"Hello." The boy's hello is very softly expressed but his eyes aren't as wary as they were earlier on, Joonmyun notes with a sense of relief.

"Hello, Baekhyun," Joonmyun greets him with as friendly a smile as he can muster. He really doesn't know how to talk to kids and he hopes it’s not too obvious to either the child or his father—his very attractive father. Who may or may not have a wife. Or a girlfriend. Or boyfriend.

"He's a little quiet when he first meets people but he can talk your ear off once he warms up to you. Better enjoy the silence while you can," Jongin chuckles and fine lines appear beside his eyes, and he's so handsome and so affable that Joonmyun's chest does a very worrying flip-flop. 

"I look forward to having my ears fall off then. So anyway, can I help move these boxes into your apartment?"

"But you look like you just got home from work. You must be tired and it's fine! I'll just bring these in slowly," Jongin refuses politely even though he looks like he could do with the help.

"I insist! It's like the least I can do for a new neighbor. You can have those boxes in your apartment in half the time if I help you," he explains and Jongin looks very tempted to accept the offer.

"But your clothes might get dir—"

"Please, Jongin, let me do this." 

“But—”

Then Joonmyun takes the decision out of his hands by dropping his leather shoulder bag on the floor and removing his jacket. Then he rolls up his sleeves and asks Jongin where he can hang his jacket. Looking both bemused and grateful, Jongin puts Baekhyun down before taking the jacket from him and stepping into the apartment. 

"I'll just get started then," Joonmyun calls out as he reaches for the topmost box and hefts it into his arms. It's heavy as fuck but Joonmyun tries to act like it weighs no more than a feather.

In just minutes, the nine or so boxes are scattered across the apartment floor. Boxes aside, the place looks exactly the same as it had the last time he was here a few weeks back. Joonmyun's eyes travel over the familiar midnight blue leather lounge set and cedar coffee table, the familiar sycamore dining table and chairs, the familiar mocha carpeting. It's like Myungsoo’s just walked out to the convenience store and he'll stroll through those doors any minute now.

Myungsoo had called Joonmyun about a week ago. He was going to be in Japan for three months for work and did Joonmyun have time for a meal before he left? They'd ended up having dinner at a nearby bistro, catching up on each other's lives. Myungsoo had told him he’d leave his apartment vacant unless he managed to convince his reluctant younger brother to housesit for him. Before Myungsoo could say more about his brother though, his phone had rung and he’d excused himself for a few minutes. 

When he returned, he was telling Joonmyun about how he hadn't started packing for Kyoto and _how does one even pack for a three-month stay?_ Joonmyun had laughed and offered some (mostly useless) pointers and the conversation had never wandered back to Myungsoo's younger brother. 

This has to be Jongin, right? Who else could it be?

"Are you Myungsoo's brother?" Joonmyun finally blurts out.

"You know my brother?" Jongin asks, his voice tinged with excitement.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do. We've been neighbors for two years so we talk from time to time.” Joonmyun really wants to ask why Jongin wasn't sure about housesitting for his brother. But they just met and it seems like a rude and intrusive thing to ask (even if Joonmyun’s insides are thrumming with curiosity).

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure if I could manage on my own with Baek but well, here we are.” His laugh has an edge of nervousness to it.

"I'm just next door, Jongin. I mean if you ever need any help, just. . .yeah, knock on my door or call, okay? We should probably exchange phone numbers. Like in case of emergencies. Or something." The tips of Joonmyun's ears burn hot and he hopes Jongin doesn't notice the pinkness. Maybe one day he'll master the art of asking for someone's phone number without sounding totally clumsy and obvious.

Jongin doesn't show any signs of noticing Joonmyun’s heightened color as he wordlessly retrieves his cellphone from his back pocket. He asks for Joonmyun’s phone number and keys in the digits before giving Joonmyun a missed call.

“Ok, got it,” Joonmyun smiles as he saves the number.

There's a brief, slightly awkward silence before Jongin offers him a drink. "Can I get you some orange juice? Or milk? That's all I can offer you at the moment. I have no idea how to operate my hyung’s super sophisticated coffee machine. It looks like it comes with a two hundred page manual except I can’t find the damned thing." 

Jongin gives a husky chuckle right at the end that makes Joonmyun feel warm all over. He's so tempted to say _yes, yes I'd love some_ , but he knows Jongin needs to get started on unpacking. And more importantly, his work bag is stuffed to the gills with the mountainous pile of contracts he brought home from the office. He’ll have to go through each page with a fine tooth comb and it's going to take him hours, fuck his life. 

It's just as well he and Kyungsoo had eaten before heading their separate ways. They had grabbed a quick dinner at the sushi bar across the road from where they worked. His meal had been delicately tasty but Joonmyun can't help thinking he would have preferred sharing a rustic pizza or some MSG-laden takeaway food with his new next-door neighbors.

"I've actually brought home a shit ton of work and it’s all due tomorrow, to my eternal regret. But I'd love to take you guys out for a meal this weekend if that's okay with you? A sort of welcome to the neighborhood kinda thing."

"Thank you, Joonmyun—that's really kind of you. Do you take all your new neighbors out for a welcome meal?" Jongin is watching him with undisguised curiosity as he stands there with Baekhyun's hand cradled in his. 

"Well. . .not exactly? But I mean you're Myungsoo's brother and it's just. . .taking you out for a meal is the least I can do. What does Baekhyun like to eat? Italian? Japanese? Korean?" 

And for the first time since the initial _hello_ , the child says something to Joonmyun. He sounds very, very determined as he says, "Nuggets. I like nuggets."

"Preferably Burger King," Jongin whispers apologetically and Joonmyun blanches. He can't even remember the last time he set foot in a fast food joint. 

Years. It's been _years_. 

He swears he can feel his arteries clogging in fear. Burger King. Sweet Jesus. But he had asked the kid what he liked and Baekhyun will get his goddamn Burger King nuggets if Joonmyun has to deep fry them himself.

 

_Shit, shit, shit. Burger King. Of all the goddamned places. Honestly._

❁

It’s a chilly morning and Joonmyun and Kyungsoo are exhaling large, misty puffs of white as they keep pace on the jogging path. The air is thick with the sweet, green fragrance of freshly cut grass and Joonmyun savors the sharp scent.

It's been two days since his encounter with Jongin and Baekhyun and he’s been bursting to talk to someone about his new neighbors. The story has been clamoring to get out—poking at the edges of his consciousness and refusing to give him a moment’s peace. 

Maybe if he talks it out, everything will go away. He’ll stop being haunted by images of his neighbor’s sleepy eyes, his deep voice, his impossibly square jaw and his long, lean legs. He’ll stop being haunted by the subtle stretch of maroon cotton across ridiculously broad shoulders, and creamy white cotton over elegant collarbones. And he’ll stop being tortured by images of the kid peeking nervously at him from behind his father’s legs—a kid with a mom or a dad other than Jongin. 

What Joonmyun needs is a kick in the ass and a lecture. No one can deliver kicks in the ass and blistering lectures quite like Do Kyungsoo can, and Joonmyun braces himself for the impending flood. 

“So, I have new next-door neighbours,” Joonmyun announces casually. 

“Old couple? Newlyweds? Oh dear God, don’t tell me it’s a family with x number of kids because fuck, it’s impossible to get any kind of decent work done at home when the brats next door are on the loose.” Kyungsoo’s face is scrunched up with disapproval. 

Kyungsoo’s been Joonmyun’s friend for seven years, and colleague for five. The man is a workaholic, first and a lawyer, second. Kyungsoo also does not do kids. Not that Joonmyun does kids either because his parents, friends and career have always been his priority. Plus, he’s an only child so he’s never had to deal with nephews or nieces much at all beyond the occasional clan gathering. 

“You bring way too much work home, Soo. You need to chill a bit. You’re making the rest of us look bad,” Joonmyun complains and Kyungsoo snorts unsympathetically.

“Please. The rest of you don’t need any help from me to make yourselves look bad.”

“That was totally unc—“Joonmyun begins to protest.

“Totally called for,” Kyungsoo argues firmly.

“Okay, we’re not talking about work anymore because you’re being a complete ass, Do Kyungsoo.” Joonmyun gives him a mock glare before swiping beads of sweat off his forehead and brushing back his fringe. Their feet pound on the crushed-stone path, creating a solid rhythm that gives Joonmyun an odd sense of peace.

“More like I’m being an honest ass.” Kyungsoo laughs and Joonmyun gives him a goodnatured _fuck you_. “So you were saying. . .new neighbors?”

"Yeeeah. Right next-door." 

"And there's a kid?" Kyungsoo shudders visibly. "Or is it multiple kids? My condolences, man."

"Jongin said it’s just him and the kid. Baekhyun. That's the kid’s name. The dad’s name is Jongin." 

Joonmyun glances at Kyungsoo and finds his friend staring at him. Intently. Of course, he’s staring at him. Not much escapes Kyungsoo’s notice and it it’s not like Joonmyun makes a habit of announcing new arrivals in his apartment building. 

"Tell me about the dad," Kyungsoo prompts as he drags his forearm across his forehead, dislodging beads of perspiration. 

"He seems young. To be a dad, I mean," Joonmyun replies hesitantly.

"How old is young?"

"We just met two days ago, for like ten minutes. Didn't exactly get round to swapping life stories.” Joonmyun frowns. Does he even want to know Jongin’s life story? What if he doesn't like what he hears? 

_All the more reason to stay away from him, Kim Joonmyun_.

"How old is young?" Kyungsoo repeats his question with the same kind of steely resolve he displays when he's cross-examining a witness.

"He’s probably in his mid-twenties on account of the whole having a three year-old kid thing, but he looks more like a college student than anything."

"Just how good looking is this young neighbor of yours?" Kyungsoo's brows knit in clear suspicion.

“Who said anything about good looking,” Joonmyun's eyes widen in surprise.

“You didn’t have to say anything. You have that guilty look you get when you confess that you haven’t done any work all weekend, or when you apologize for missing our morning jog because you were up all night watching _Hunter x Hunter_."

"Dear God, just how boring is my life?" Joonmyun asks, wincing. 

"Well—"

" _Don't_ answer that question. I really don't need to feel like a total loser first thing in the morning." 

"Well, you did ask. But if it makes you feel any better, my life is even less spectacular ," Kyungsoo says with a self-deprecating laugh.

"So you mean I’ve never given you guilty looks for skipping our jog because I got wasted? Or because I had hot monkey sex with some good looking guy I met a club?"

"No, not really. Well, fine, maybe once or twice a year. But more like once every two years." Kyungsoo is so deadpan it hurts. A lot of the time.

"I swear my social life isn’t that comatose," Joonmyun grumbles. 

" _Okayyy_." Kyungsoo says it like he thinks Joonmyun’s social life is _exactly_ that comatose. It's infuriating but it's also Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo doesn’t believe in sugarcoating. Ever. But his honesty is never dished out in a malicious way. Plus he’s loyal and excellent with secrets, and Joonmyun wouldn't trade his best friend for anything—even if Kyungsoo’s honesty is sometimes so brutal it can slice whole chunks off one’s ego. It’s a good thing Joonmyun’s is quite healthy. 

They carry on jogging for a minute or so before Kyungsoo says thoughtfully, "So you feel guilty because you're lusting after your cute, slash, hot, young neighbor who's possibly married to, or at least cohabiting with someone who may or may not be the mother, slash, father of said neighbor's child. Does that sound about right?"

"Jesus, Soo! I'm not lusting after him. I just met the guy yesterday and we spent like ten minutes together. And the kid was with us the whole time.”

“So you’re saying you don't find him attractive? In the least?” The tip of Kyungsoo's left eyebrow inches up his forehead in disbelief. 

“He's. . .cute, I guess.” Joonmyun sighs in defeat and it's a very, very guilty sound. 

“It's really very simple, Kim Joonmyun. Stay away from your neighbor. Stay the fuck away. Unless it turns out hot neighbor guy is a single dad. In which case, you'd be totally within your rights to give in to your lust or attraction or whatever fancy name you want to give it. But Joonmyun, there is _a child_ in the mix. Children should come with warning labels. What do people like us know about children? I'd still stay the fuck away, man. All that emotional baggage and noise and disruption.”

“You make kids sound like cooties, Soo.”

“As far as I'm concerned, they might as well be.” 

“Jesus.”

“Yeah.”

“But seriously, Joon, you're better off dating someone who doesn't come with a plus one.” 

“Yeahhhh.”

Kyungsoo's advice is solid, just as Joonmyun had known it would be. But it doesn't give him the closure or kick in the ass he needs. Sighing, Joonmyun’s arms and legs pump up and down, his feet landing again and again on the sun-dappled path. He tries his best to lose himself to the exercise but he just can’t seem to escape his neighbor’s sleepy eyes and his distracted smile. _Dammit_.

❁

Joonmyun’s forgotten how greasy everything is in Burger King. The food, the tables, the floor. _Fucking everything_ is slick and shiny with grease. The stark fluorescent lights are too bright and the chairs are too obnoxiously red and there are kids _everywhere_. Joonmyun has never felt so outnumbered or so out of his element in his entire fucking life.

They’re standing in the queue for the cashier and Jongin turns around to look at him—eyes curious and just a little too perceptive. “You okay?”

“Hmm. . .? Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Joonmyun’s smile feels a little forced and he hopes Jongin doesn’t pick up on it.

“Why don’t we find someplace else to eat after we get the food? It can get pretty noisy in here. You’re probably not used to the chaos.”

“It’s more than I’m used to,” Joonmyun admits sheepishly, “but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I’m sure Baekhyun won’t want to wait for his food.”

“The best thing about nuggets is that you can eat them on the move,” Jongin grins.

“Well, when you put it like that,” Joonmyun tries not to look like he’s dying from relief. “So where do you want to eat your nuggets, Baekhyun?”

“Park! Can we go to the park, ahjussi? Appa?”

“The park it is,” Jongin says and Baekhyun claps his hands in glee before proceeding to talk his father’s ear off. Kids sure could be noisy, Joonmyun thought, mentally shaking his head.

❁

It's a Saturday afternoon so the park is teeming with activity—families picnicking, a bunch of preteens playing touch football, couples strolling hand in hand. At 11 o’clock, there's a group of teenagers, genetically blessed boys and girls, who are congregated on the lip of the lawn. They're just standing there, surveying the park grounds like they're trying to find the perfect spot to showcase their collective beauty. Joonmyun knows he's never been that genetically blessed but he wonders if he was ever that young and cocky.

"Ahjussi, isn't your burger nice?" Baekhyun's head is cocked to one side as he sits down in front of Joonmyun. His eyes are twinkling with a mixture of inquisitiveness and this whole air of _how-could-anyone-not-like-Burger-King-like-what-the-hell-even_? Are three year-olds supposed to even be this intelligent?

Joonmyun looks guiltily at the half-eaten burger he hasn't taken a bite from in God only knows how many minutes. The lettuce is wilted and the beef patty is dripping with grease but Joonmyun swallows his distaste, and lies, “The burger is absolutely delicious, Baekhyun. I was just enjoying the view. So many people here and they're all doing really different things."

"Like what?" 

All of a sudden, Joonmyun is thrust into the unfamiliar position of pointing out different groups of people to a child and explaining what they’re doing. As for Baekhyun, he dutifully listens as Joonmyun stumbles through his little briefing.

“What’s a preteen?”

“Um. . .a preteen is a kid who’s between ten and twelve years old.”

“What’s a couple?” The boy looks so intense and hungry for knowledge. He's just so different from what Joonmyun expects a three year-old to be like.

“Well, a couple is when you have two people together,” Joonmyun explains clumsily.

“Like us, ahjussi? Like you and me?”

“Not exactly,” Joonmyun fumbles helplessly and turns to Jongin for help.

“Like Appa and me?” Baekhyun tries again.

“Nope, Baek, not like you and me,” Jongin says as he reaches out for Baekhyun and pulls him him onto his lap.

“Like who then?” The boy is starting to look confused and Joonmyun curses himself for using the word ‘couple’ in front of him in the first place.

“Well, it’s like halmoni and haraboji. And oldest aunty. Remember how she got married to oldest uncle and they had baby Rahee?”

“So not like you and my mom?” Baekhyun has a very serious expression on his face now, like he’s thinking very, very hard.

“Yeah. Not like your mom and me.” There’s a pained expression on Jongin’s face and Joonmyun stomach drops like a stone. 

“Do you have to be married to be a couple?” Baekhyun lays his cheek on Jongin’s chest, snuggling close.

“Well, sometimes couples get married when the time is right. And sometimes they’re just really young people who like each other a lot. Like those two people there,” Jongin points at two teenagers who are holding hands and smiling at each other. 

“Okay.” Baekhyun nods solemnly. 

“Hey, Baekhyun!” Someone calls out excitedly. 

“Hello, Sooyoung,” he waves with a shy smile. 

“Come play with me! Can he, Mr. Kim?” It's a little girl with long, ebony hair and an ocean of freckles dusted over her nose.

“Sure, Sooyoung. But stay close, you two!”

There's a quick exchange of looks and then Baekhyun and Sooyoung’s bodies are hurtling across the grass. They squeal and pepper the air with explosive giggles as they chase each other in circles.

“A friend from school?” Joonmyun inquires.

“Yeah. They’re pretty much best friends.”

“Baekhyun seems like such a bright kid.” 

“He's kinda. . .everything.” Jongin’s smile is slightly wistful and his profile is beautiful. Blindingly so.

"He's the first three year-old I've ever really talked to for more than just a few seconds, and I don't know much about kids but he seems really mature for his age."

"His teachers tell me he's precocious but I dunno. He's just Baek to me. He can be real mature and serious sometimes? But other times, he's just a kid who wants to play and max out on fun and whines when he doesn't get his way. Like when I make him turn off the TV because it’s time for bed or when I tell him he's had enough candy for one day." 

Jongin's eyes are following the two kids and it gives Joonmyun the opportunity to watch him unobserved. After a short silence, he says, "Parenting sounds like a tough job."

"It can be but Baek's a good kid. He's pretty laid back and he doesn’t whine or complain much, to be honest. Thank God for that because it's mostly just me looking after him. Up till two days ago, we were still living at my parents' place. It's the only way I can carry on working. I don't think I could have made ends meet without my mom. She takes charge of Baek when I'm rushing a deadline." The words flow out of Jongin in a matter-of-fact kind of way. There are no signs of regret or self-pity in his tone, only acceptance.

"I'm glad you have her," Joonmyun says quietly.

"I try not to depend on her except when I have to but sometimes I just—I don’t have a choice, you know?” Jongin’s expression is distant, like he’s talking to himself. Then he seems to suddenly realize where he is and whom he’s with. “I'm so sorry for oversharing. I got a little carried away there," Jongin apologizes, and his overheated cheeks have turned the prettiest shade of pink.

"I'm actually happy you trusted me enough to share that much, Jongin."

"It's probably really obvious that I barely get to talk to people my age," he chuckles self-consciously. "Between work and raising a toddler, who has time for a social life?"

"I'm not raising a toddler but my social life is pretty non-existent too, if it makes you feel any better?"

"You know what? It kinda does." Jongin is laughing again and a deep, honey-like warmth spreads through Joonmyun's chest.

"Is it okay for me to ask what you do?" Joonmyun asks carefully.

"Well, I needed a job that allowed me to work from home because of Baek. I have a degree in graphic design so I just kinda fell into web designing. Not exactly something to set the soul on fire but well. . .it pays the bills so I can’t complain.” 

“I’ve been a lawyer for six years and I’m still waiting for my soul to ignite. I reckon you’re doing all right, Jongin.” Joonmyun makes a weak attempt at humor and to his surprised delight, Jongin laughs. 

“So much for all those movies and books that tell us to follow our dreams and pursue our passions, huh?” Jongin doesn’t sound bitter but Joonmyun can’t help thinking it must have been frustrating for him—being saddled with a child when he was barely even an adult himself.

“Well, I like to think it’s never too late to follow your dreams. It's just that our souls might be a little battered and wrinkled by the time we get to do the things we want, the things that set our souls on fire.”

‘That’s one way of looking at it, I guess.” Jongin’s expression is thoughtful as he turns to ask Joonmyun, “you said you’ve been a lawyer for six years so that makes you. . .twenty-eight?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m twenty-eight. How about you?”

“Twenty-five. You’re the same age as my hyung, so I should probably call you hyung, huh?” Jongin directs a playful, slightly cheeky smile at him. The smile makes Jongin look young and bright and something stirs deep in the recesses of his chest. 

Joonmyun doesn’t believe in the insta-love they talk about in books and movies, but it suddenly feels a lot like he is no longer in full possession of his own heart. When they were twenty-four, he and Kyungsoo had charted out the next ten years of their lives and _relationship things_ had been scheduled for when they reached thirty years of age.

“That sounds reasonable enough,” Kyungsoo had acceded grudgingly. “But I want it put on record that I’d rather wait till I’m thirty-five. _Ideally_. Thirty-two if I’m cornered.” 

Joonmyun had laughed so hard at his friend that day and now here he is, on the other side of the coin, contemplating _relationship things_ at the age of twenty-eight. It’s too soon. He needs to remember where his priorities lie, and a relationship with a twenty-five year old single dad (who probably won’t even want him) is nowhere on that list.

Joonmyun needs to sort himself out but for now, he settles for telling Jongin not to call him hyung. He has no logical reason for why he doesn't want Jongin calling him hyung. He just knows it feels wrong.

“But why not? You’re older than me and it’s the right thing to do.” Jongin’s forehead creased in confusion.

“I just—” Joonmyun dragged a nervous hand through his hair. “I’d just prefer you to call me Joonmyun. Or Joon. My friends call me Joon.”

“I swear I’m gonna feel like my mom is giving me a disapproving look every time I call you by name but okay, I won’t call you hyung.” 

“Thanks,” Joonmyun smiles in relief. And before either of them can say anything else, the stillness around them scatters in an explosion of noise and energy. 

“Appa! Appa! Can we have ice-cream?” Baekhyun skids to an abrupt stop in front of his father, yelping as Sooyoung accordions into his back.

“Well, it’s not too cold today,” Jongin teases, his face alight with mischief as the kids yell and ask if that’s a _yes_ or a _no_. “I guess ice-cream would be okay.”

“Ice-cream for everyone, then. My treat,” Joonmyun announces and gets pelted with delighted shouts of _thank you, ahjussi! Thank you!_

“But _I_ was going to treat,” Jongin argues.

“You can buy next time,” Joonmyun offers. “Now, let’s go find some ice-cream, kids.”

Hopping excitedly and pulling at his arm, the kids are yelling again, “THANK YOU, AHJUSSI! THANK YOU!” 

Joonmyun only feels slightly overwhelmed by the chaotic display of gratitude. It’s not a bad feeling, actually. It’s not a bad feeling at all.

❁

It's way past four in the evening when they finally get back to the apartment building and Jongin has a sleeping Baekhyun cradled in his arms while Joonmyun has an electric blue backpack slung over his shoulders. He hasn't asked but he's assuming the backpack must contain diapers (do three year-olds even use diapers?) and milk and. . .what did little kids even need? Kids' backpacks are filled with all kinds of mysteries that Joonmyun has no hope of comprehending. The only thing he knows with any certainty is that the blue backpack contains a bright orange bottle filled with drinking water. Joonmyun knows this because Jongin had made Baekhyun drink from it several times during the course of the afternoon. And at some point, Jongin had extracted an Iron Man action figure from the front zipper pocket.

So if nothing else, Joonmyun knows that the backpack contains water and a toy. The rest of the contents are a mystery he will probably never uncover because now that he's taken his neighbors out for a welcome meal, he shouldn't have any reason to see them again. That is, aside from the occasional encounter in the foyer or basement garage or elevator or 27th floor corridor. Right?

Before Joonmyun has a chance to answer the mental question, the elevator doors whoosh open and they step inside. Baekhyun resembles a sleeping angel, his cheek resting against Jongin's shoulder and his eyelashes fanning across the tops of his cheeks. The boy had fallen asleep at the start of the car journey home and Jongin had had to carry him out of Joonmyun’s SUV. They stand beside each other in the elevator for a few quiet, but strangely not awkward, moments before Jongin breaks the silence.

"I know you're not used to spending time with kids so I wanna thank you, Joonmyun. For today. For your patience. For everything." There's a look on Jongin's face that Joonmyun can't quite decipher. Relief, happiness, fatigue? He can't quite figure out which emotion he's seeing, or whether he's seeing some combination of the three.

"I had fun," Joonmyun says and he realizes he means it.

"I'm sorry Baek talked your ear off after we had ice-cream."

"My ears are still intact and I enjoyed the bullet-point briefing on why bubblegum is the ‘bestest’ ice-cream flavor in the whole universe," Joonmyun reassured him with a chuckle. "But I was worried for moment there that Sooyoung and Baekhyun were going to come to blows. I'm glad you managed to distract them. Personally, I agree with Sooyoung. Pistachio is the ‘bestest’. But don't tell Baekhyun I said that," he whispered conspiratorially and Jongin laughed.

"Your secret is safe with me," Jongin promises as he strokes Baekhyun's hair. There's something about the affectionate gesture that tugs at every string in Joonmyun's heart. He'd never even set eyes on Jongin and his son till three days ago so this is all a lot to process. 

_What is wrong with you, Kim Joonmyun? You don't have space in your life for a plus one package deal. What is wrong with you?_

When the elevator doors open, Joonmyun lets Jongin out first. It's been more than five minutes since they got out of Joonmyun's car and his arms have to be aching badly from how long he's been carrying Baekhyun.

“Thanks again, Joonmyun, for taking us out,” Jongin turns to smile at him and there it is again—the tugging sensation in Joonmyun's chest that spells nothing but trouble.

"No problem. I really mean that, Jongin." 

Still holding Baekhyun in an awkward grip, Jongin reaches inside his jeans pocket for his house keys. He fumbles and the bunch of keys slip from his fingers and land on the hallway carpet with a soft thud.

Joonmyun bends down to retrieve the keys before Jongin can do anything rash like try to pick them up with Baekhyun in his arms. He finds the key that looks exactly like his own front door key and slides it into the lock. Baekhyun shifts restlessly, mumbling, and Jongin rubs his back and rocks him. His voice is soft and low as he hums a tune that sounds a lot like Infinite's [_Can You Smile_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkGSae8r_H0)—the remake version where L plays the acoustic guitar, not the pop version. Joonmyun hasn't heard it in years and he's not even surprised Jongin would know it. Of course he would. Because Joonmyun needs even more reasons to be drawn to this beautiful near-stranger who's taking up far too much space in his thoughts. 

Jongin's voice is hushed as he tells Joonmyun, "Just let me bring Baekhyun to his room, okay? I'll be right back." He starts humming the Infinite tune again as he carries his son away and Joonmyun's lips curve into an involuntary smile. 

_He's not even singing to you, Kim Joonmyun. And you just met the guy three days ago._

He shakes his head. He's reaching new levels of pathetic.

The apartment is cool and quiet, the drapes drawn so only traces of late afternoon light can filter their way in. The place no longer looks like Myungsoo might walk in the door any moment. Action figures, board books and Lego blocks are strewn over the mocha carpeting and a work desk now resides in one section of the dining area. A neat pile of books sits on the left corner of the desk. The books are not as forbidding as the legal tomes Joonmyun has to handle at work but they’re still quite intimidatingly large and thick. And right at the heart of the desk are a couple of large sketch pads, two black wire mesh holders filled with art pens and pencils, and a Macbook Pro. 

This has to be Jongin’s office. 

That’s when it hits him, what Jongin had meant when he said he didn’t get to talk to people his age much. He doesn’t have colleagues to share office space with, to get annoyed at, to laugh over dumb jokes with and to stress with when deadlines are bearing down on them. It must get really lonely for Jongin, working on his own.

Joonmyun thinks about working from his apartment, thinks about working in isolation and he knows he can’t do it. He sees Jongin sitting at his desk, the room shrouded in a consuming silence as he works, and a hollow ache forms in the pit of his stomach that refuses to go away.

❁

Joonmyun gives a contented sigh as he rests his feet on the charcoal gray ottoman. He’d ended up having dinner next-door so he’d only got home at nine. Tonight has been a departure from his regular Saturday night. In fact, the entire day has been a departure from the usual. He usually spends his Saturday nights doing one of three things:

(1) doing dinner or a movie or drinks with Kyungsoo and their friends from college, Yifan and Luhan,  
(2) having dinner with his parents, or  
(3) staying in and either doing work or watching tv or gaming or a combination of all three.

Joonmyun had done none of these things tonight. That evening, after Jongin had returned from Baekhyun's room, the two men had sat on the balcony with glasses of store-bought OJ and just talked about nothing. Everything. Nothing and everything. They carried on talking way after the OJ ran out and before they knew it, a sleep-tousled Baekhyun had wandered out onto the balcony to join them. And then the sun had set and it had been the most natural thing for Jongin to ask him to stay for dinner. 

It had been a simple meal of takeaway pizza, garlic bread and garden salad (which Jongin had insisted on paying for) but it was the best time Joonmyun’s had in years and they’d hung out for a while after. Joonmyun had helped Jongin do the dishes and then they’d just sat in the living-room, talking, while Baekhyun watched some kids’ shows on TV—interrupting them every now and then with some observation that couldn’t wait. It had all been disgustingly domesticated but also, it had been _really, really nice_. Joonmyun doesn’t even recognize himself anymore and he knows Kyungsoo will totally shake his head in disappointed disapproval if he ever catches wind of how Joonmyun spent his Saturday. 

Maybe he won’t tell Kyungsoo after all. He needs more time to get to know Jongin and Baekhyun and he doesn’t want to deal with Kyungsoo’s premonitions for now. He’s about to switch on the TV when his phone squawks. He cringes at the noise and makes a mental note to change his KakaoTalk notification tone to a less annoying one.

 

 **Kim Myungsoo**  
dude, how are you?  
10:54 PM

alive. kicking. how's kyoto? 10.55 PM

 **Kim Myungsoo**  
confusing lol. wish i had more than elementary school japanese. kyoto is hella pretty. legit seen men and women walking on the streets in yukatas. it's really something.  
10:58 PM

sounds great. you all settled in now? 10:59 PM

 **Kim Myungsoo**  
pretty much, yeah. I miss kimchi something bad tho wtf.  
11:01 PM

LMFAO 11:01 PM

 **Kim Myungsoo**  
hey, jongin told me you guys went out for lunch today. i just wanted to say thanks. yk, for doing this.  
11:02 PM

it was nothing, myungsoo. and i enjoyed it. baekhyun is a cute kid 11:03 PM

 **Kim Myungsoo**  
yeah. my bro hasn't had an easy time of it but he's done a great job raising that boy.  
11:05 PM

 

Joonmyun hesitates and worries his bottom lip as he tries to decide what to type next. He doesn't want to be nosey but at the same time, he _needs_ to know more about Jongin's past so he can. . .God, he doesn't even know what he wants to do with the knowledge. 

During the chat on the balcony, Joonmyun had discovered Jongin's favorite color and drink, his favorite manga and manhwa artists, and even Baekhyun's favorite tv shows. But he’s discovered nothing of Jongin's past other than that he'd become a dad at twenty-two and Baekhyun's mother isn't a part of their lives. 

He wants to know more. He wants to ask. He wants to ask but he shouldn't. He shouldn’t ask. He should wait for Jongin to tell him more on his own instead of gathering information from Myungsoo behind his back. So he settles for making a neutral statement. Neutral-ish anyway. Joonmyun takes a troubled sigh and types—

Jongin says he couldn't have done it without your mom tho. 11:06 PM

 **Kim Myungsoo**  
yeah, she fills in the gaps when he's got work. it took some convincing getting him to housesit for me bc it's just going to be him and Baek at my place. it's selfish of me to make him look after my apartment while I'm gone but in a way, i also think it'll be good for him to have a space of his own for a while. mom promised to help when Jongin has deadline issues. he can leave Baek with her if things get hairy.  
11:08 PM

that makes a lot of sense tbh. I'll try to help him out too when I can. Promise. 11:09 PM

 **Kim Myungsoo**  
jongin is idk, he's always had trouble asking for help so you’ll have your work cut out for you. we were so worried when baek's mother showed up three years ago. she just handed the baby carrier to jongin. told him she couldn't be the baby’s mom so he was jongin’s now.  
11:10 PM

That’s just. . .wow. But weren’t they in a relationship? I mean the baby? 11:11 PM

 **Kim Myungsoo**  
a one-night stand. some frat party where everyone had too much to drink. obviously, there wasn’t supposed to be a baby. jongin never even knew about baekhyun till the day she showed up. she was going to put the baby up for adoption but she couldn’t give him up to a stranger in the end. So I guess jongin seemed like her best option. he was 22, joonmyun. Just out of college and boom! there’s this baby. my parents and i insisted on a paternity test but honestly? i think my bro would have taken baek in even if he’d turned out to be somebody else’s child. like it was bad enough the baby's mom didn't want him so he was going to make sure baekhyun had a dad who /wanted/ him.  
11:15 PM

 

Conflicting emotions cycle through Joonmyun's head—swift and strong and confusing. Anger at Baekhyun's absent mother. Sympathy for the bewildered twenty-two year old Jongin had been. Sympathy for the sort-of-abandoned baby Baekhyun had been. Guilt because he's suddenly armed with all this knowledge about Jongin's past when he hasn't told Jongin much about his own, albeit uneventful, past. He needs time to digest all this; he needs time to figure out how he can help Jongin without Jongin noticing that it's happening.

he seems really centered now. 11:16 PM

 **Kim Myungsoo**  
well he is /now/. but things were really rough to begin with. jongin made it work with help from my mom. more help at the beginning when baek was still a baby. she had to teach him everything - how to change diapers, deal with nappy rash, burp and calm the baby, everything. i had to learn too so i could help too. hard times LOL. but jongin doesn't like relying on people and for the past year he's pretty much been doing it all on his own - except when work gets in the way.  
11:18 PM

I could kinda tell that about him. That he prefers not to rely on anyone for help if he can avoid it. 11:19 PM

 **Kim Myungsoo**  
ok, so here's the thing. jongin's an adult - perfectly capable of looking after himself and his child. BUT. he's still my baby brother and I worry about him, yk? especially when i'm so far away and not in a position to help him out if things get too much.  
11:20 PM

so like you want me to be there for him? 11:20 PM

 **Kim Myungsoo**  
yeah, could you joonmyun? it's a three-month gig. think you can manage it? i know it's a lot to ask but could you be his big brother when i'm gone?  
11:21 PM

yeah, sure. I could do that. 11:21 PM

And Joonmyun means it. He really, really means it even if being Jongin's big brother is the very last thing he wants.

❁

Over the next few weeks, Jongin and Baekhyun steal inexorably into Joonmyun’s life—filling his days with warm conversation and touches of humor, seasoned with the occasional crying fit from Baekhyun when he skins a knee or has a really bad tummy ache. He looks forward to the end of his workday so he can head home and drop by next-door.

Some days, he asks Jongin and Baekhyun over for takeaway (because Joonmyun can’t cook worth a damn) and some days, Jongin invites him over for a homecooked meal. He still takes the occasional quick dinner with Kyungsoo after work but he’s more likely to take Jongin and Baekhyun to a Korean barbecue place, or an Italian restaurant, or a sushi bar or even the dreaded greasepit, Burger King. 

They’re in and out of each other's apartments (and lives) so much that they've even had duplicate keys made for emergencies. But not everything has changed. Joonmyun still has to bring work home just as he always has. But these days, he tries to at least share a quick meal with father and son before hitting the files. 

When Jongin has to deal with his first deadline after moving in, his parents are both knocked out with the flu. Visibly stressed, Jongin tries to figure out how he’s going to manage things on his own and Joonmyun convinces a reluctant Jongin to let him help. 

He takes the afternoon off and picks Baekhyun from his preschool before bringing him back to his apartment so his Appa can focus on getting his work done. Baekhyun is already so used to spending time with Joonmyun that he’s been routinely talking his ears off for weeks. Joonmyun’s used to the chatter and most of the time, he even enjoys it. 

Joonmyun feeds Baekhyun some snacks in the kitchen and reminds him to wash his hands and mouth (because Jongin always insists on that) before taking him out to the living-room to watch some TV. He sits on the couch and Baekhyun curls up beside him. They’re watching _Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom_ today and Baekhyun gives him a run down of the characters and tells him which ones are his favorites. 

As far as shows go, _Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom_ is about as far as one can get from _Hunter X Hunter_ or _Psycho-Pass_ , but there’s a certain kind of special to watching it with Baekhyun. Ten minutes into the show, Baekhyun rests his cheek on Joonmyun’s lap and smushes his Totoro plush toy against his tiny chest. Smiling, Joonmyun strokes his hair and listens to his running commentary on Ben and Holly’s exploits—

That’s how Jongin finds them when he shows up at the apartment later: dozing in front of _Dora The Explorer_. Joonmyun wakes up, bleary-eyed, to Jongin’s hand gently shaking his shoulder.

"Hey." Jongin's eyes are tired and his smile a little frayed around the edges and it makes Joonmyun frown.

"Did you finish," he asks, stretching sleepily.

"Not quite but I'm almost there. Thanks for babysitting, Joonmyun. It literally saved me five hours of productive time so I should be able to finish tonight and I'll still have tomorrow for edits." 

“That's great!”

Jongin flops on the sofa beside Joonmyun and their shoulders bump. Then there's a long, drawn out sigh and Joonmyun feels the sweet weight of Jongin's head on his shoulder. It’s not the first time Jongin has done it and Joonmyun fervently hopes it won’t be the last. Every little touch from Jongin is a keepsake. "Have you guys been asleep for long? It's 6.30 now."

"The last thing I remember is Nanny Plum magicking the honey bees to sleep. I guess she magicked us right to sleep too," Joonmyun chuckles.

"Aigoo, you made Ahjussi watch _Ben & Holly_? The poor man!" Jongin says, his voice indulgent as he strokes his sleeping son's hair.

"I liked it! It's not quite _Hunter x Hunter_ but it has its charms," Joonmyun laughed.

"You say that now because you've only seen one episode! I swear to God, I must have watched every episode of the show at least three times because of Baek. The storylines get a little thin after a while, if you know what I mean?”

“It’s a kid’s show, cut it some slack.” Joonmyun can’t help but chuckle at Jongin’s eye-roll.

“Well, yes. But kids make their parents watch it too. It can be. . .excruciating by the third rewatch! Ben and Holly are really cute though, I’ll give them that. Okay, let's get this kid up or it’s going to be midnight and he'll still be going _Appa, I can’t sleeeepppp_.” 

“Oh hell no to that.”

“I know right? Okay, time to wake up, sleepyhead."

Baekhyun makes reluctant I-don't-wanna-get-up noises and buries his face in Totoro's squishy belly. "Don't want to, Appa," the boy answers and he sounds ever so slightly whiny.

"But dinner!" 

"But Appa, I'm tiiiiired."

"And hungry. You just don't know it yet." Jongin ruffles his hair gently.

"I'm not hungry," he argues stubbornly.

"You will be when you smell the food," Joonmyun points out and Baekhyun whines and buries his face deeper into Totoro's belly. "Let me just grab some delivery menus so we can decide on what we want for dinner."

 _Thanks_ , Jongin mouths gratefully as he swings a still protesting Baekhyun into his arms.

 

That night, at two minutes to midnight, Joonmyun's phone squawks and he curses. He'd forgotten to change the notification tone _again_.

 

 **Kim Jongin**  
DONE!  
11:58 PM

YAYYY! 11:58 PM

 **Kim Jongin**  
Thanks, Joonmyun. For Baek, for everything.  
11:59 PM

I wish I could’ve helped more. 11:59 PM

 **Kim Jongin**  
Idk how you could possibly have helped more. I couldn’t have done this without you.  
12:00 AM

I’m just glad you trusted me to take care of Baek. 12:01 AM

 **Kim Jongin**  
there isn't much I wouldn't trust you with, Kim Joonmyun!  
12:02 AM

But I could be the worst babysitter the world has ever known! 12:03 AM

 **Kim Jongin**  
Baek’s a resourceful kid. He would've survived the experience lol  
12:03 AM

OUCH 12:03 AM

 **Kim Jongin**  
Jk. You’re great with Baek. He thinks the sun shines out of your butt.  
12:04 AM

I’m not sure how I feel about the sun shining out of my butt. 12:04 AM

 **Kim Jongin**  
It’s a nice butt.  
12:05 AM

Did you just say I have a nice butt? 12:05 AM

 **Kim Jongin**  
Oops, I didn’t mean to type that. And yes, you do lol.  
12:05 AM

I’m not sure how I feel about you thinking I have a nice butt? 12:06 AM

 **Kim Jongin**  
Ask me about it someday ^-^. But not today. I need to crash.  
12:06 AM

Sure. Congrats on finishing and lmk if you need help with Baek tomorrow. 12:07 AM

 **Kim Jongin**  
I will. Night, Joonmyun  
12:07 AM

 

Jongin checks out his butt? Joonmyun’s skin is still buzzing long after his phone screen goes black.

❁

Baekhyun is running ahead of them on the beach, stopping every few feet to pick up a seashell or chase a hermit crab. It's been four weeks and three days since Joonmyun first set eyes on the boy and he swears he's grown an inch.

"Coming here was a great idea," Jongin says as he takes in deep lungfuls of salt-tinged air. It's early summer and the weather is warm enough that they're all dressed in shorts, t-shirts. The sun is warm and gentle on Joonmyun's back and shoulders, the sand crisp and dry between his toes.

"I try to come out here at least a few times a year. It gets a little hard to breathe sometimes in the city."

Jongin's expression is pensive as he closes his eyes, turning his face up to the sky. Jongin's skin is suffused with the soft golden glow of the sun and Joonmyun's fingers ache to explore his smooth, coppery skin. They yearn to trace the fluid lines of Jongin's collarbones and the plush edges of his mouth and the fine skin of his eyelids. But Joonmyun can't touch a neighbor, slash friend, slash little brother that way so he doesn't reach out to touch Jongin. He rams his hands into his bermuda pockets instead, with a lot more force than necessary. 

Joonmyun's had thirty-one days to get over his crush on Jongin. It should have been a simple thing for a twenty-eight year old, committed bachelor like himself, but his attachment to Jongin has only taken root and grown like a tree, a tree with really stubborn roots. Seeing Jongin and Baekhyun every day—talking with them and being with them every day—is so much a part of his life now that it's almost like breathing. He can barely even recall what things were like before the night he’d almost crashed into a tower of boxes outside Apartment 27A. 

“I know all about not being able to breathe in the city.”

"You okay?" Joonmyun asks, his voice thick with concern as he turns to look at Jongin.

"I'm fine! I just spend a lot of time on my own, inside the four walls of an apartment so it's just nice being out here, Myun. Under a blue sky with the sun on my back.” Jongin’s fallen into the habit of calling him Myun and he still gets a little light-headed when Jongin calls him that, because no one else calls him Myun. 

Weeks ago, he'd asked Jongin to call him Joon because that's the nickname his friends use, and he still can't understand why Jongin had ignored Joonmyun's suggestion and decided to call him something else altogether. He can't understand it but he likes it. He just. . .really likes Jongin. He likes Jongin _a lot_. He likes Jongin so much that he doesn't even question it anymore, no matter how much water Kyungsoo keeps pouring over his head about "package deals" being more trouble than they're worth. 

"I wish I'd brought you guys out here sooner," Joonmyun says with regretful sigh.

"Nah, today is just perfect." 

Joonmyun can hear the hint of a smile in Jongin's voice and then there's something else. . .the slide of skin over skin as Jongin takes his hand in his. For a few seconds, Joonmyun forgets how to breathe. He feels like he should say something— _anything_. But words elude him and all he can do is hold onto Jongin's hand as tightly as he can; all he can do is plant one foot in front of the other as they stroll along the beach. 

Jongin’s hand feels warm, alive, electric, and the nerve-endings in Joonmyun’s left palm are practically on fire. Yet, despite his body’s overwhelming physical reaction to Jongin’s touch, holding hands with Jongin blankets him in a comforting sense of security and of belonging.

When Joonmyun finally finds enough courage and coherence to say something, all he can manage is, "You're holding my hand." It's about as far from eloquent as it’s possible to get but it's all Joonmyun is capable of for the moment.

"I am," Jongin laughs but Joonmyun can’t see his face, can't see his eyes. Maybe he's just as nervous as Joonmyun is. "I'm holding your hand and I'm not letting go."

"But. . .I don't understand?" Joonmyun's heart is booming in his ears as he waits for Jongin's answer. His frantic heartbeat is so loud he can barely hear the whipping of the sea breeze and the harsh whisper of the waves lapping against the shore. 

"You know, for the longest time, I haven't been breathing properly. I love my son. I love him so much and in a way, it's been easier for me to just focus all my spare energy and affection on him over the years. I mean I try to see my best friends Sehun and Chanyeol a couple times a month but other than that, I'm always at home with Baekhyun and my parents—well, up until I moved into my hyung's apartment, anyway. And it’s like sometimes there’s no air.” Jongin drags Joonmyun's hand closer to him. Then his fingertips rub gently over Joonmyun’s knuckles and it both soothes and excites him.

“There’s been no space in my life for anyone else. But my friends think it's criminal for a healthy twenty five-year old male to spend all his time locked away in his mom's house. So they make sure I get out some. And for the past year, they've been trying really hard to set me up with someone. I wasn't interested in dating but I went on a few blind dates since they went to so much trouble to set them up." Jongin's words are so quiet and so serious that Joonmyun's heart can't decide whether to beat faster or to slow down.

"How did they go? The blind dates, I mean?” 

Up ahead, Baekhyun comes to a stop, plants his bottom on the sand and begins excavation operations with his fire-engine red plastic bucket and canary yellow shovel. Jongin comes to a halt about fifteen feet away, tugging gently on Joonmyun’s hand (and his overtaxed heart).

“He’s communing with the sand. That will keep him busy for ages. Let’s just stay here for now.”

“So, blind dates?” Joonmyun asks and to his relief, he doesn’t feel so much like a deer caught in the headlights anymore.

Jongin gives a sharp, short laugh. “Yeahhh. I wanna say they were borderline catastrophic? But to be honest, they were just cases of failure to launch. The first date was fun. Her name was Hyoyeon and she was an interior designer. She didn’t even mind that I had a kid and I definitely didn’t mind that she was four years older than me.” 

“So why didn’t things work out?”

“It was like hanging out with a friend, I guess? We had a great time but she never made my heartbeat go faster or make my skin tingle or any of those clichéd reactions you’re supposed to get when you’re attracted to someone. And I’m a dad and time is a precious commodity and I just wasn’t invested enough to wait and see if I could become attracted to Hyoyeon.”

Joonmyun thinks about his own reactions to Jongin, his accelerated heartbeat and his hypersensitive skin, and he groans inwardly because he is a walking cliché of someone who’s attracted to someone else. 

“Were you. . .I shouldn’t ask this but were you attracted to Baekhyun’s mother?”

“I was. I mean I must have been since we slept together. We were really drunk but I mean, I wouldn’t have hooked up with her if I hadn’t already had a crush on her. But we just didn’t have much in common and sleeping together when we were drunk was a mistake and we had this mutual agreement that we would never talk about what happened that night. It worked because we managed to successfully avoid each other. That is, until she showed up at my house with Baekhyun. He is the only thing about that night that wasn’t a mistake. I will never regret my son.”

“Baekhyun is a blessing,” Joonmyun agrees as he squeezes Jongin’s hand.

“He really is. But anyway, back to my blind date stories,” Jongin gives an awkward laugh as he redirects the topic back to safer waters. 

“Okay. How was the second blind date?”

“Zitao. Very attractive. But he was a stylist and had to travel for shows all over the country. I needed someone who was around more than he was away. We did. . .um get to first base but yeah, there was no second date for us.”

“Were there any other blind dates?” Joonmyun asks but he’s not altogether sure he wants to hear about the rest because the story about Zitao and Jongin making out had caused something sharp and hot to prickle in his belly, something that felt a lot like jealousy. 

“Mmhmm. Well, just one other one anyway. His name was Yixing and he was an accountant. A stable, older guy whose job didn’t require him to travel much and there was even the added bonus of him loving kids. He was pretty much the perfect candidate.” There’s a smile on Jongin’s face, the quiet one he gives when he’s _just happy_ instead of _excited happy_. When Jongin is excited happy, his entire face glows—eyes forming crescents, laughter lines and teeth showing. Joonmyun lives for that smile, but he likes this quiet one too.

"It sounds like there's a _but_ at the end of your sentence," Joonmyun gives a quiet smile of his own as he places his free hand over Jongin's, his palm gliding over Jongin's knuckles while his fingers slip into the spaces between the younger man's fingers.

"He was perfect boyfriend material but my heart—my heart just wasn't it. I don't know how to explain but something was missing. We went out a few times but it just never felt like it would last. The fourth time he asked me out, I told him I just couldn't with a relationship right then in my life. He took it really well and asked me if he could try asking me out a year later."

"What did you say?" Joonmyun asks, on tenterhooks.

"I told him I'd probably say no but he could try." There's a teasing note in Jongin's voice and Joonmyun gives him a heartfelt glare. He doesn't like the idea of this Yixing taking Jongin out at all.

"You'd better have said no!"

"Technically, it hasn't been a year yet. He's still got two months left to ask me. _If_ he remembers to ask me." Jongin laughs, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Of course he'll remember you. How could anyone forget you," Joonmyun grumbles as he edges closer to Jongin. "Tell him you can’t see him." They're facing each other now, no longer holding hands. Jongin's close, so, so close that Joonmyun can make out the light citrus of his aftershave and the faint scent of salt and sun on his skin. 

"Why should I do that?" And this time the smile Jongin gives him is the excited happy one and he's so fucking beautiful that Joonmyun's overstretched heart feels like it might burst.

Joonmyun takes two steps forward, "Because—" He leans forward, his hands reaching up to cup Jongin's face, "Tell him you're taken." There's the soft noise of Jongin exhaling just before his lips part and Joonmyun smiles before closing the last bit of distance between them. For thirty-one days, Joonmyun has tried not to think about what Jongin's lips would feel like against his, what they would taste like. But now, Jongin's hand is curled around his nape, pulling him closer and Jongin's mouth—his plush, beautiful mouth is just a whisper away.

 _This can't be happening_ , he thinks as their lips meet. The kiss is sweet and intoxicating and there's no time to think anymore as Jongin's tongue explores the curve of his mouth, as Jongin's lips press against his. He tastes of the sea and of the pistachio ice-cream they'd shared earlier, and this is Jongin.

 _This can't be happening_ , the words echo in his mind but they're in each other's arms and they're kissing and this is happening.

"Pistachio," Jongin chuckles as their foreheads touch after a while.

"You taste of pistachio too," Joonmyun laughs.

"Bestest flavor in the world!" Jongin announces proudly and they both dissolve into laughter before sharing a fleeting kiss.

"Appa? Ahjussi?" 

"Hey Baek!" Jongin disentangles himself from Joonmyun's arms so he can lift his son into his arms.

"Appa and Ahjussi. . .were kissing?" The boy looks a little bewildered as he looks from first Jongin to Joonmyun. He doesn't look upset at least—just confused.

"Yeah, yeah we were, Baekhyun. I hope that's okay," Joonmyun says solemnly.

"Appa, are Appa and Ahjussi a couple?" Baekhyun asks, his face completely earnest. And Joonmyun is reminded of the time in the park when the boy had first asked them what the word _couple_ meant. How things have changed since then.

"Yeah, Appa and Ahjussi are a couple. Are you okay with that?" Jongin tells his son and Joonmyun's never felt more happy.

"Yes, please. When Oldest Uncle comes back from Japan, can we move into Ahjussi's house?"

"Kim Baekhyun! You can't say things like that!" Jongin looks completely mortified and his cheeks are flushed a deep rose pink. Joonmyun thinks he’s never looked more endearing. Keeping his fingers crossed, Joonmyun hopes that Baekhyun gets his wish when his Oldest Uncle returns from Kyoto.

 

_**epilogue. . .three months later** _

 

Joonmyun is driving past the gourmet market two blocks from his apartment building when he gets hit by a sudden and inexplicable craving for créme brûlée. When the lights change at the next intersection, Joonmyun does a U-turn so he can get back to the store. It's not like he can't wait till the next day or the weekend or even next week to satisfy his craving, but Joonmyun is determined to have some brûlée tonight. 

He enters the brightly-lit market and ends up selecting eight juicy, ripe plums before heading to the dessert chiller so he can extract three plastic containers of créme brûlée. Plums are Jongin's favorite fruit and as for the créme brûlée—well, _everyone_ loves créme brûlée. Dessert taken care of, Joonmyun spends ten minutes browsing in the Wines  & Spirits section before settling on a bottle of Gewurtztraminer for the grown ups. Then he grabs a few cartons of sugar free organic apple juice for Baekhyun on his way to the cashier. 

When Joonmyun leaves the market, there’s a mixture of excitement and contentment bubbling in his chest. A few weeks ago, Jongin had told him that créme brûlée was his favorite dessert, but that it had been so long since he'd last had any. 

Joonmyun can't wait to surprise him.

❁

On the way home, Joonmyun stops to pick up some bibimbap and doenjang jjigae for dinner. Jongin and Baekhyun have probably had something to eat by now but he buys enough for them just in case. When he reaches home, he places his carry bags of purchases quietly on the dining table before heading to the kitchen.

Jongin’s back is to him as he stands at the island, working with what looks like cookie dough in a huge yellow mixing bowl. He's wearing his favorite red apron over a Digimon tee. Joonmyun can’t see the front of the shirt but he knows it’s a Digimon tee because he remembers the shade of scorched magenta from some previous occasion when Jongin had worn it. It's bordering on pathetic how many Jongin-outfits he can remember. He wonders if Jongin pays even half as much attention to what Joonmyun wears.

“Hey, baby,” Joonmyun whispers as his arms slip around Jongin’s waist and lets himself sink into his strong, broad back. “What are you making?” Cheek resting against Jongin’s shoulder, Joonmyun breathes in the comforting scent of Jongin intermingled with the buttery, sweet scent of cookie batter.

“Triple chocolate chip oatmeal cookies,” Jongin informs him as he turns around. Smiling, Jongin kisses him and Joonmyun melts into his embrace with a contented sigh. When the kiss ends, Joonmyun steps back a little so he can just stare at Jongin. Seeing Jongin in an apron always does devastating things to his heart, but tonight, everything is made worse by the adorable smudges of flour on Jongin’s chin and his left cheek.

“Don’t move,” Joonmyun hums as he swipes the flour away gently with his right thumb.

“I like the way you come on to me.” Jongin’s chuckle is husky as he drags Joonmyun back into his arms, his lips moving over his in a slick, sensual glide.

“I was just cleaning you up.” Joonmyun’s expression is all mock innocence but there’s nothing innocent about the way his tongue explores the inside of Jongin’s mouth. 

“Cleaning me up, my ass,” Jongin snorts as he mouths the exposed skin of Joonmyun’s slender neck. Joonmyun can’t quite stifle the tiny sound of pleasure he makes in response.

“Stop, Jongin,” he groans. “Baek might come in here.”

Jongin ignores Joonmyun’s warning as his deft and sure fingers undo the top buttons of his cobalt blue, pin-striped dress shirt. 

“Jonginnie, stop,” Joonmyun begs as Jongin unhooks the waistband of his trousers and pulls his shirt-tails out. Very deliberately. 

Jongin mumbles something distractedly as his mouth moves over Joonmyun’s collarbones and his palms slip under his cotton business shirt. Jongin’s hands caress his back in long, smooth strokes that leave Joonmyun’s skin heated and stimulated and his entire body tense with anticipation. When hands travel lower down to slide over his ass and squeeze, Joonmyun’s trousers begin to feel far, far too tight.

Jongin's tongue curls suggestively around Joonmyun's left earlobe and his breath is hot, so hot against his skin. "I've always liked your ass," Jongin says as his hands grip Joonmyun's ass and hips. "Always," he whispers, as his mouth leaves a hot trail of kisses all over the skin of Joonmyun's neck.

“Oh God, we can’t,” Joonmyun croaks. “Jongin, Baek might—”

“Baek isn’t here.”

“Wait, what?” Joonmyun wants more than anything to give himself up to all the wicked sensations Jongin’s lips are burning into his skin, but he manages to brush aside the erotic haze, stilling Jongin’s mouth long enough to ask him where his son is. 

Thwarted, Jongin lets out a long, frustrated sigh and settles for hugging Joonmyun tightly in his arms. “He’s going to be at my mom’s for the weekend. Umma complained that she misses her grandson and she wants him to stay over till Sunday evening. Myungsoo hyung picked him up from here half an hour ago. Umma said she misses her older son too and she wants him to stay the weekend too.” Jongin’s laugh is warm and just a bit ticklish as it vibrates against Joonmyun’s ear.

“What about you? Doesn’t she miss her younger son too?”

“Maybe? But she said I wasn’t invited. She said _you’re 25 and you have no social life! Go out with your boyfriend, have fun, live a little!_ ”

“Do you want to go out and live a little?” Joonmyun grinned. 

Jongin is completely deadpan as he says, “I’ll settle for staying in and having hot monkey sex with my boyfriend on the kitchen counter.” 

“Jesus, Jongin!” Joonmyun manages to choke out.

“I’m dead serious. Just as soon as I’m done with these damned cookies. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home early? I would have worn my nicest pair of boxers and a decent shirt, if I’d known. And I sure as fuck wouldn’t have decided to bake oatmeal cookies!”

“I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well, you definitely did that. I’m not wearing my nicest boxers, Kim Joonmyun.” 

“I’ve seen you in your worst boxers, Kim Jongin. I’ll live,” Joonmyun was grinning again.

“We’ll see. Anyway, what happened to dinner and drinks with Kyungsoo?”

“Ditched me at the last minute because _your best friend_ asked him to watch a movie with him. _Civil War_ ,” Joonmyun says grumpily but they both know he doesn’t really mind. “I barely get a chance to eat dinner with Soo these days. Your friend’s monopolising all his free time.” 

“Awww. Sehunnie’s got a genuine crush on your friend. Let them live.”

“Hah! There was a time when Do Kyungsoo announced that he wouldn’t have anything to do with _relationship things_ till he was 35.”

“Whoa. He’s really far ahead of schedule.”

“I know right? But then. . .I guess I am too.”

“Oh?” Jongin eyes him with interest. “How old were you supposed to be when you started doing _relationship things?_ ”

“Thirty?”

“So you couldn’t resist me and ended up in a relationship two years ahead of schedule, huh?” Jongin looks obnoxiously smug and Joonmyun gives him a dirty look.

“Don’t get too full of yourself!”

“I’d rather be full of you. . .or the other way round. I’m not picky,” Jongin says seductively and Joonmyun’s cock stirs and twitches in response to the promise in Jongin’s words. His breath hitches as Jongin’s strong hands grip him by the hips. Then, before he can even think of protesting, Jongin lifts him up onto the counter.

“Jongin, what the hell?” 

“Shhh,” Jongin silences him with a hot and extremely thorough kiss. “I’m about to have hot monkey sex with my boyfriend.” Then his palms are cupping Joonmyun’s ass again. Biting his bottom lip in concentration, Jongin pulls Joonmyun in towards him, and the hard press of their clothed erections feels so good Joonmyun thinks he might die or at the very least scream loud enough that the neighbors in Apartment 27C can hear. He thanks every deity available (and Jongin's mother) that Kim Myungsoo isn't in his apartment tonight.

Now that his legs are straddling Jongin’s hips, it takes every shred of Joonmyun’s self control not to buck forward. But he manages, somehow, to ask in a strangled voice, “What about your oatmeal cookies?”

“Fuck the oatmeal cookies!”

Then Jongin’s hands are all over him and under him and Joonmyun is kissing Jongin as he starts to rock his hips. The hot tightness spreads through his groin as Jongin thrusts against him. They frot for a few feverish minutes before Jongin unzips his pants and frees his cock with hands that are anything but steady. Joonmyun closes his eyes and moans as hot wet heat surrounds him and Jongin’s mouth moves over his cock in quick, intense strokes.

It doesn’t take long for Joonmyun to unravel as Jongin deepens his strokes, while his fingers fondle his nipples under his half-open shirt. When Joonmyun makes the whimpering noises he always makes when he’s about to orgasm, Jongin releases him. Then his hand is gripping Joonmyun's cock, pumping him hard till he shudders and groans Jongin’s name, eyes shut in ecstasy as he comes all over the expensive cotton of his business shirt. 

“You look so beautiful, all ruined on our kitchen counter,” Jongin grins as he reaches up to kiss him. 

“I just hope I didn’t ruin the kitchen counter,” Joonmyun moans, still trembling from the aftershocks. 

“There’s still time,” Jongin says cheekily as he produces a bottle of lube from his back pocket. 

“I hate you,” Joonmyun laughs.

“No, you don’t. You love me as much as I love you.” 

Then Jongin is kissing him and touching him until all Joonmyun can think of is how much he loves this man and how much he craves his touch. Because this is Jongin and this is happening.

This is Jongin. And it's just like breathing. . .


End file.
